How does this relate to offshore legal outsourcing or legal process outsourcing? It doesn't! But they say you should write about what you know. For the last three weeks or so, that's trekking in Nepal. Also, "Law Without Borders" often means a chance to travel in Asia. So here goes:
1. If you have time, become friends with your guide before hiring him (or her). Then you can say important things, like "shut up."
2. If a chicken walks into a Nepali restaurant, don't make a clucking sound, thinking this is funny. The chicken will jump on your table.
3. If you are female, and your guide asks if he can touch your legs, report him, after firing him. If you are a male, get something in return, like a foot massage.
4. Tired is usually just a state of mind. Turn on your iPod, and don't be embarrassed if you start making dance moves while climbing, even after you've already been at it for seven hours.
5. If you see a sign saying something is only "15 minutes ahead," this means four hours.
6. "We have hot showers" often means: "We have a little, bare, concrete room, 3 feet by 3 feet, and you can order in advance for a bucket of warm water."
7. "Attached bathroom" means: "There is a bathroom down the hall. You (and everyone else) are welcome to use it." By the way, Nepali/Indian-style toilets, which involve a porcelain hole in the floor, work better than Western ones. Things come out easier, and while taking a dump, you are also doing a yoga pose.
8. If the owner of the guest house tells you there is a wild dog outside, and that you should run, not walk, from the restaurant to the rooming house, believe it. Also, do not try to make a joke by barking. Unless you are so cold and exhausted that you don't mind being knawed and chewed to death.
9. Be sensitive to national differences. If you are sitting next to a Japanese trekker at dinner, and someone spills their beer, causing a small, foamy wave to rush down the table, don't say "Uh-oh! It's a tsunami!"
10. If you expect the country, topography, and people of Nepal will be beautiful, you are in for a surprise. They are not beautiful. They are stupendously and astoundingly beautiful.
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